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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How to diaper and bathe your crocodile baby

I love my baby. I truly, truly do. And I want to support him no matter what path in life he chooses to take. Unfortunately, he has currently decided that he wants to take the path of a crocodile (or maybe an alligator? I always forget which is which). Yes, my sweet angel baby has decided that any time I want to change or bathe him, he must grab on to the nearest object and put it into a death roll, crocodile/ alligator style. Gone are the days when we used to play games during our diaper changes. Gone are the nights of E staring peacefully up at me as he lounged in our little plastic tub. Those days and nights have been replaced by E's new thrash and roll routine.

This really irked me for quite some time. Again, I go back to the fact that I am a teacher that has rules and demands respect. I mean, hasn't a former student told this kid not to mess with me yet??? (Note to self- get our neighbor/ former student to talk to E as soon as he can comprehend English.) After too many crazy diaper changes and near death experiences in the bathtub, I decided I needed put the ingraining of the rules aside for now and get creative to solve this problem. I suspect that there are other little crocodile babies out there, so I thought I'd share what has worked for us. As always, if you have any tips or tricks that have worked for you, please let me know!

Crocodile diaper time
Diaper time is serious time in this house. Let's face it- the stakes are pretty high here. If you change your croco-baby on a changing table (the idea of which we have long since abandoned), you run the risk of your little critter hurling himself off the table. Additionally, if your baby decides to go into a full-on croc spin, there is huge potential for bodily fluids making getting all over your baby, your carpet,  and you, which is no fun for anyone.

So, what has worked for us? First, I dug out the good old Boppy. I never really used this thing for its intended purpose, but it has come in handy in many unexpected ways, so I don't feel bad about requesting it as a present. I place it so that it makes an upside-down U shape and recline Sir E so his head rests on the curved part. The sides act to gently sandwich his little body in there, making it a little harder for him to roll. At the very least, the shape slows him down a little and I'll take any help I can get! I also keep a few toys in our diaper bin for him to play with only during diaper changes. He loves making calls on his pretend cell phone as I clean up his cute little bum (probably to Grandma to complain about me).
"Hello, Grandma? Yeah, it's me, E. This lady doesn't know WHAT she's doing!"
Managing the baby croc in its natural habitat- the tub
Wow, as soon as we set E free in the big tub we ran into a mess of problems. He was concurrently learning to crawl and stand, and apparently the slippery, hard tub seemed like the perfect place to do it! What worked for us here was a LOT of persistence on my part. I was really firm about telling him not to stand in the tub and taking him out if he got too crazy. As a result, bathtime only lasted a few minutes for awhile, but it had to happen. What helped break the cycle of crawl-discipline-scream-tub ejection was putting E in the tub before it was filled so he could watch the water come out of the faucet. Our new tub also has a shiny part by the faucet, which plays right into his obsession with the baby in the mirror. "Watering" E with our hair rinsing bucket and surrounding him with lots of toys helped too. Oh, and having his toothbrush ready to bribe him with to avoid hysterics when bathtime is over. Who thought cleaning your baby could be so darn complicated? And why don't babies ever want to be clean, anyway? Ah, the mysteries of life.

So, that's what I've learned! Hopefully this helps someone. Later, gators :)!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Baby E's Favorite 9-12 Month Activities


Hey everyone! I've been meaning to share E's learning activities with you for awhile. In fact, it was my first intent in starting the blog. Guess I'm a bit slow over here... Oh well! Here are some of the best activities I've found for his current developmental stage (10 months, cruising, crawling, pulling to stand, trying to walk). Some of these we've already tried, and some just sound really cool. I'll be adding more details as we try each out. I'll also add more activities as I find them, so check back! Please share any fun activities you like to do with your babies!

Sensory bins 
Inspiration: Play, Create, Explore
Supports: Fine motor development, exploration, free play, independence, new sensory experiences, developing understanding of cause and effect and gravity, developing understanding of categories (mental leap 6 in Wonder Weeks)
Quick Description: Place items of different sizes, shapes and textures in a bin. Encourage your baby to explore the items. NOTE: This can get messy. Also, make sure to watch your little guy- some sensory bin items are not meant to be ingested! 

Cardboard box tunnels
Inspiration: The 50+ boxes in my garage from our recent move and Play, Create, Explore
Supports: Crawling, exploration, free play, independence, developing understanding of relationships (mental leap 5 in Wonder Weeks- distance between things)
Quick Description: Encourage baby to crawl through the box tunnel. As your baby gets more comfortable, tape a series of boxes together to increase the challenge and fun. 

Gravity drop box
Inspiration: Aforementioned garage full of boxes and Play at Home Mom
Supports: developing understanding of putting things together to get desired outcome (mental leap 7 in Wonder Weeks- sequences), fine motor skills 
Quick Description: Use a razor blade to cut holes in the top of an empty cardboard box. You can vary this depending on the age/ interests/ skill level of your child. Baby can drop objects through the holes and watch them fall. If your baby likes auditory stimulation, you can put something in the bottom of the box to make the drop a bit noisier. 

Themed bath
Inspiration: E's love of all things watery and Play, Create, Explore
Supports: depends on the theme
Quick Description: This site has lots of interesting ideas for things you could do to spice up bath time. I am afraid of/ too lazy to attempt most of them, but it could be fun for other people!

Come Find Me!
Inspiration: My desire for 5 seconds of independence
Supports: independence, decrease in separation anxiety, developing understanding of object permanence (ie: just because you can't see an object doesn't mean it doesn't exist anymore), language development, 
Quick Description: Tell your baby, "I'll be right back!" or whatever you generally say when you leave. Then walk slowly away and hide behind something (in the beginning you'll want to make your hiding place very obvious). At first E would start screaming the second I moved away from him, so I'd repeat, "Come find me!" while he crawled his screaming little self toward me. When he found my hiding spot, I'd say something like, "I'm back!" and we'd celebrate. In time, he became more comfortable with me leaving him and even occasionally let me pee alone. Score one for mama! 

Where's the ... ?
InspirationBloggin About Babies
Supports: developing understanding of object permanence (ie: just because you can't see an object doesn't mean it doesn't exist anymore), language development
Quick Description: Introduce your baby to an object (show and name it). Hide the object (under a blanket, behind something, etc). Ask baby, "Where's the...?" Clap when baby finds it (or do the happy dance. Take your pick). Reiterate the object's name as you point to it. 

Alligator!
Inspiration: Too many rowdy sleepovers in my best friend's basement
Supports: gross motor development, cruising/ walking, pulling to stand independence 
Quick Description: Place sturdy objects around the room. Encourage your baby to cruise from one to the other without dropping down to the floor. Challenge your baby to make attempts at first steps by placing items increasingly farther apart. FYI it's called Alligator! because my friends and I used to amuse ourselves during sleepovers by pretending the floor was full of alligators, naturally giving us no choice but to hurl our 12+ year old selves from one piece of furniture to the next. Ah, youth... 

Walker soccer
Inspiration: E and Sadie dog made this up themselves
Supports: cruising/ walking, having fun!
Quick Description: E and Sadie both love to play with balls, so we have quite a few laying around the house. Take turns "kicking" the ball back and forth with your baby as he plays in his walker. Tip: Watch your ankles! Babies are very aggressive drivers!

Walk the house
Inspiration: Bloggin About Babies
Supports: language development, new sensory experiences 
Quick Description: Walk around the house (and outside), naming objects you see. Allow baby to touch different textures, see how things work, etc. as you describe the object and its properties. 

Stand up, Sit down
Inspiration: Too many hours of sleep lost due to a baby who loves to pull up but can't sit down
Supports: independence, pulling to stand, sitting, gross motor development, language development
Quick Description: Say, "Stand up!" as you encourage your baby to pull to stand (around here, this is not necessary, as E spends every waking moment attempting to stand). Once he's up, show him an object that interests him (for us, it's anything that makes noise or can be eaten). Place the object on the floor and encourage baby to sit down to get it, saying "Sit down". Keep repeating and cross your fingers that your baby will remember this when he wakes up in the middle of the night!
Standing up rocks!

Friday, August 3, 2012

That summer feeling


I have always loved summer. My childhood "summer feeling" is one of the most vivid, precious memories I have. At the mention of summer, my mind automatically goes back to how I felt laying on the slatted benches of my grandma's back porch, listening to the church bells and cicadas ring out the end of one of those perfectly balanced summer days. I would stare out at the trees with eyes tired from squinting through the hot summer haze, feeling my breath move slowly out of lungs heavy from being pushed to the max after running, jumping and diving through the day. I would lay, daydreaming and listening to the sounds of my grandma gathering up the ingredients for one of her famous ice cream sodas. As summer wrapped me up in its warm, protective embrace, I remember feeling so peaceful, so connected and so sure of my little place in the world.

Like everything else in my world, the way I experience summer has changed since I became a mom. Where there were once underwater swimming contests in my neighbor's pool, now there are marathon splash sessions on the pool steps led by my little man. Where I used to delight in racing through the grass as quickly as my legs could take me, I have now slowed to an inchworm's crawl as I help E test out where those chubby little legs can take him. Sometimes I do long for the activities that used to define summer for me, but watching E experience his brand new summer adventures has added a new dimension to my "summer feeling".

E's first splash session of the season at Auntie Niki's pool
I now have more of an appreciation for the family and friends who sprinkled their love and adventurous spirit over my summer days, turning them into something magical. I feel so grateful to have had an aunt who would go into the ocean with me no matter how many times I asked (and it was a lot!);  a mom who taught me to dive under the waves; a grandma who would patiently walk me to the library to gather stacks of books; a grandpa who hung swings from trees; a dad who gave me the thrill of steering the boat; best friends and a sister to swim and laugh and explore with... the fact that this list could go on and on makes me feel so very lucky. 

I want summer to wrap E up as completely and snugly as it did me. The fact that I am now helping E create his own "summer feeling" is exciting, amazing and a little frightening all at once. I'm looking forward to seeing how some of the same people who were so important to my summers will shape his. He's still so little (only 10 months old!), but there have been so many fun summer things we have done together. The little non-activity moments are by far my favorite, but here is a list of some of my summer things to do with E.

- Splashing- doesn't matter what the body of water is. Give this kid a pool, bathtub, pot, puddle- you name it, he will splash in it!
- Lots of ice pops (this is literally ice or frozen baby food in his mesh feeder- that thing is the best!)
- Swings
- Watering the grass, the flowers, our legs, the dog...
- Camping out in the living room during rainy (or 90+ degree heat) days
- Riding his red wagon around the yard (caution: do not start this activity unless you are prepared to do it for at LEAST a half hour)
- Occasionally skinny dipping in the backyard instead of taking a bath (just E- not us!)
- Breaking bedtime rules to enjoy family and friends
- Reading outside in our brand new front yard (we have an awesome shade tree!)
- Watching dada play softball
- Cruising the neighborhood in the Bob

- People (and big truck) watching at The Boro Bean in Hopewell
- Dining al fresco (and only in a diaper) as frequently as possible
- Getting fresh food at the Trenton Farmers' Market

What are your favorite things to do with the kiddos during the summer?
Add your ideas so everyone can have more fun!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Diarrhea Diaries

I struggled to come up with a name for this post, but I think I did really well, no? A nice mix of accurate and scientific with a dash of class. Being an elementary school teacher, I have retained a healthy respect for bathroom humor and as a result, I generally can't say diarrhea without giggling. When I had to tell some family members that E was under the weather, it went something like, "Um, well, he has, you know... tummy issues. You know what I mean?"Anyway, I decided to mom up here and just use the word. Diarrhea has taken over our lives for the last few days, and I have had to do a lot of googling to figure out what to do to help the poor little man. I've said it before and I'll say it again- I need a manual for this kid! Below are some tips on what I've found to help.

Diet: 
Generally, we've been following the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apples and toast). Additionally, we have upped his intake of starchy foods like white potatoes, cooked carrots, and the almighty Cheerio (this has made E very, very happy). The doctor also recommended we feed E small, frequent meals so we don't overload his poor struggling little digestive system. I've been breastfeeding him a lot more frequently too. (Sidenote: Just before this all started, I was planning on starting E on one formula feed a day. Guess he was listening and didn't like the idea!) We have also been giving him Pedialyte and lots of water to help keep him hydrated.

Banana App-poo Cookie Recipe
Here is a recipe for "banana app-poo cookies", as I'm calling them (please see above confession about my love of bathroom humor). I was getting really sick of just feeding E straight applesauce and banana slices, and I wanted a different way to feed him the same ingredients. It's basically a healthy banana oatmeal cookie recipe with all the oil, sugar, etc. taken out. I am not a baker by any means, and I halved the ingredients from another basic recipe, so it calls for measurements that are a little weird.

1 1/2 ripe bananas
1 cup of quick cook oats
1/6 cup of applesauce
3 shredded cooked carrots
Pinch of cinnamon (can be omitted)

Mash the bananas with a fork. Add the applesauce, oats and cinnamon. Mix well and let sit for a few minutes. Place tablespoonfuls of the mixture onto an ungreased baking sheet. Bake until the edges are starting to brown (about 10-15 minutes). Makes 16 cookies.

cookies before baking
E approves!
Mmmm. Banana App-Poo cookies are yummy!
Tips:
E was not too thrilled when I replaced his beloved pure water with Pedialyte. He drank some of it (mostly because he likes the opportunity to spill things on himself, the dog, etc) but not much. I froze the Pedialyte in an ice cube tray. Later I popped them out and put them in his mesh feeder. Voila! Tasty Pedialyte ice pops! He loved chomping away on them and I loved the fact that I could preserve the Pedialyte for a little longer. Apparently you're supposed to use all of the super-expensive bottle within 48 hours, and that does not sit well with this cheap mama.


Also, see that cute one piece outfit E is wearing? I'd recommend stocking up on items like that. It's comfy and doesn't have a waistband to squish E's poor little belly. Also, the leg snaps make diaper changes easier (and with the amount of diaper changing you will be doing, you will want it to be as easy as possible!).

Speaking of diaper changes, make sure to apply diaper rash cream or some kind of skin protectant after each change. Your baby's bum will also appreciate it if you use unscented wipes or plain old moist cloths instead of the pretty scented kind.


Previously unknown (to me) information:
The nurse on our doctor's hotline informed me that the acute stage of diarrhea can last from 1-3 days, but the aftermath diarrhea, as we shall call it, can last a few more WEEKS! Craziness.

And that's all, my friends! Any additional tips or recommendations are very, very welcome. 
I'm hoping things return to normal around here real soon!

Monday, June 18, 2012

30 before 30

Here are my 30 before 30 goals, in no particular order...

1. Run six 5k's (30k's... get it?), at least one with E.
2. Plant a garden.
3. Learn to sew.
4. Volunteer.
5. Ride a horse.
6. Have family or friends over once a month.
7. Commit 1 act of guerilla goodness per month.
8. Reconnect with old friends and family (Facebook doesn't count!).
9. Introduce myself to all of my new neighbors.
10. Make a 1 year album for E.
11. Buy a hammock. Try to relax in it.
12. Host a holiday celebration.
13. Dream up an original family tradition- the weirder, the better!
14. Learn how to use Photoshop.
15. Stop screening my phonecalls. What if it's Justin Bieber?
16. Try 10 new recipes (bonus points for using ingredients that scare me).
17. Write a children's book for E.
18. Make exercise a regular part of my life again.
19. Write inspiration letters (more on this later!)
20. Go on a family vacation.
21. Leave E with family overnight (dreading this- I might leave it until the last possible second before my birthday!)
22. Explore 10 new local "family attractions".
23. Decorate the new house (sorry, but if I don't put this on here, it won't get done!).
24. Make more mama & baby friends.
25. Have one new experience each week.
26. Get organized!
27. More DIY
28. Start or join a new group
29. Eat less processed food.
30. Get outside and play (aim for at least 30 minutes with E per day)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Copycat!

"Teacher, she COPIED me!" If I had a dollar for every time some little darling came up to me and said that in the trademark high-octave kid whine, I would be a very rich lady. Most young children do not like to be copied- period- but as they get older, their feelings about being copied evolve to depend on the copiers. If they think the copier is cool, they will welcome and even aggressively court his copying efforts. Just think about how many social media outlets depend on people wanting to copy and be copied- Facebook, thousands of blogs and (my personal favorite) Pinterest. Anyway, thinking about how the world has embraced copying made me feel better about becoming a copycat myself. My very eloquent and witty friend Kristy over at 35tomatoes (not about tomatoes, FYI)  made a list of 34 fun and interesting things she plans to do before turning 35. I plan on copying her by making a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30 in April. By the way, Kristy approved this in typical teacher style by saying, "Let's call it sharing." :)

Like most of my decisions since September, this was motivated by my little E-man. As a new mom, I find it extremely difficult to remember that E and I are actually two distinct people. I rarely do anything for myself outside of the occasional trip to the gym (which I have rationalized as being acceptable because it offers E a chance to socialize with his little gym girlfriend, Naomi). However, lately I've been thinking that I might need to become a richer person to be a better mom.

Anyone who knows me and my WalMart-shopping, clearance rack-cruising ways must think I've finally gone off the deep end. No worries- I'm not saying being richer in the monetary sense would make me a better mom (although I'm sure E would love it if I invested more money in toys for him to smash). What I mean is that I am starting to think I need to invest more time and effort in myself to meet my full mom potential. I want to be a mom who inspires my son to think deeply about how he wants to experience the world. I want to guide him as he grows so he can develop the confidence and skills to make those experiences happen. And more than anything, I want to guide him to this rich, full life by example, not words.
Who wouldn't want to inspire this little man?
Now, how exactly am I going to inspire someone to live life fully by spending my days cleaning, Googling potential childhood maladies and micromanaging naptimes? I'm not. I need to get up off my mama hiney (yes, we use the word hiney around here now) and do something. Lots of somethings, actually. When I read Kristy's blog, her list of fun, life-enriching activities seemed like the perfect format to push me toward the fuller life I know I want. I LOVE lists- they help me clear my head, organize my thoughts and (most importantly) make me commit to any items I add to them. Perfect! 30 fun, enriching things before 30, here I come! Follow along and if you see things that you would like to do, let me know and we'll enjoy them together!

Thanks for the inspiration, Kristy. Being a copycat is fun :).

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Where's my owner's manual???

In the process of packing for our big move at the end of the month, I find it interesting how many owner's manuals I have unearthed. It seems like everything we have bought, no matter how seemingly simple to operate, has come with an owner's manual. Illustrations abound on how to attach your stroller wheels or insert the batteries to one of the many toys laying around our house. Can't figure it out, even when instructed in 5 languages? No problem- just call the 24 hour hotline.

Just one thing is missing- the owner's manual for my child. I mean, seriously, where is it? How is it that the most difficult task in the world- "operating" a child- doesn't come with some sort of manual? It's been a rough 3 weeks around here. E got his first cold, which threw us all for a loop. He also appears to be going through some sort of oh-my-gosh-my-mom-can-leave-me crisis that he has chosen to handle by using his tiny fingers to get my clothing/hair/nose in a death grip and screaming any time I look like I'm about to move away from him. According to The Wonder Weeks, my go-to "Why is my child turning into a crazy gremlin?" resource, E is entering "The World of Categories". The book gives me a lovely explanation of why this is happening, but what am I supposed to do about it? Where is my manual???

As a teacher, I prided myself on being kind and fun but strict. My classroom management style was one of defined boundaries and logical consequences. I tried to be very consistent and predictable so my kids knew what they could expect if their behavior didn't meet our set classroom expectations. I felt confident in my ability to help my students behave respectfully, reasonably and responsibly (shout out to my Stony Brook friends- yay for being star cubed!). It took me awhile to figure this out and every situation and student needed to be addressed somewhat differently, but there were books on classroom management to help me along the way.

I am having huge difficulties translating this system into a code of conduct for parenting a baby. How do you set boundaries for an 8 month old that doesn't understand English and doesn't have a good enough grasp on cause and effect to really get the meaning of consequences? When I try to set boundaries (no, you may not roll around like a crocodile while I'm trying to scrape poop off your body), E just laughs (or more likely screams) in my face. If he eventually understands that there are boundaries and that mommy will not back down on some things, I can keep doing this. As much as it's driving me insane at the moment, I will keep patiently but firmly doing my, "E, no no" speech as he flops around and screams like a banshee after I thwart his attempts to jump in the slippery bathtub. But how do I know I'm doing this the right way? Again, where is my manual for this parenting thing???

Eating the foam floor tiles. This boy is an animal.
This post is not going to wrap up neatly because I haven't made it through this phase alive yet. While I'm here, stuck in the trenches waiting for some super mom to write a parenting manual with step by step directions on how to raise a kind, well-adjusted, respectful child (complete with a 24-hour advice hotline), I'm calling out to the mamas out there. Advice, offers of babysitting, bottles of wine... all are appreciated (and really, really needed). Let's do this. Ready? Go!

Good thing you're cute, Mr. E!



Monday, June 4, 2012

Book recommendation: The Wonder Weeks

If you've read my posts, you know that I have chosen to approach motherhood as the ultimate teaching/ learning experience. This approach has helped me, an elementary school teacher, maintain my sanity during the hard times and be even more in awe of my little bugger during the amazing times. Plus, I was a Child Development major in college and I am a total dork, so I like knowing what's going on in E's little (but hugely intelligent) brain.

Well, wouldn't you know- I found a book that fits perfectly with my dorky child development obsession. Apparently there are others out there just like me! I think I first heard of The Wonder Weeks when I was googling something like, "Is it normal if my baby ______?" You can fill in the blank with a variety of insane first-time mom concerns. Feel free to get creative, because I probably googled just about anything you could dream up. Anyway, after I heard of the book I immediately wanted to buy it, but I waited until I found it at a garage sale for $2 (see, I'm dorky AND cheap! No wonder B snapped me up off the singles market so quickly). I must say, this is by far the best $2 I have ever spent.

www.thewonderweeks.com
The authors of this book argue that babies make a series of developmental "leaps" throughout their first year and a half of life. They say that while each leap leads to something really cool and big for the little one (crawling, grasping the concept of object permanence, pulling up to stand, etc.), the journey to that big thing can be a bit bumpy. During the leap, babies display more crankiness, clinginess and crying than normal. Poor little guys are exhausted physically and mentally by trying to master this big world one little piece at a time.

Part of a handy chart to show you when your baby's "cloudy" aka mid-leap crazy kid times may fall.
www.thewonderweeks.com
The book is broken into 10 leaps. For each leap, the authors provide a description of what's happening, a checklist of common behaviors, ways it may affect you and ways to help your baby through the leap. The authors also provide a list of games to compliment each developmental leap. I'm always so surprised how well E responds to the games, and it's refreshing to add something new to our repertoire of go-to play activities every few weeks.


For example, The Wonder Weeks suggested I give E baskets of his own so he could explore the "world of relationships" during week 26. He LOVES dumping them out, although he doesn't really care to fill them back up. Oh, well- at least I've gained a willing laundry day helper!

Each section also includes quotes from parents whose babies are going through the phase. I love this feature because it generally makes me feel better about myself, in much the same way that watching an episode of Teen Mom does (if you haven't watched this yet, you should- go now). To be fair, most of the parent quotes are helpful and informative, but there are a few gems in there, let me tell you. My favorites include: "He'd been screaming so relentlessly that I suddenly shouted out angrily, 'Now shut up!' and walked away," and "When he cries in public I think to myself, 'Why don't you shut up you stupid kid!'" Hahaha.

So, if you're a psychology/ child development dork like me or if you're just searching for a reason your little angel has turned into a crazy person, check this book out! They also have a website and an iPhone app. Happy reading!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Oh, you must be in heaven! (the early days)

In the very early days of my mama career, I took E to the doctor by myself for the first time. After a few weeks of incredibly painful and unsuccessful breastfeeding, my lactation consultant had recommended I go to the pediatrician to see if E was tongue tied (he wasn't, but that's another story). So, I gathered up the 20 pounds of baby equipment I was carrying around those days and drove my little guy to the doctor (going 35mph and eying every car as a potential enemy, naturally). When I finally got there, they called my name and I had to figure out how to wrangle the aforementioned 20 lbs of stuff and a cranky baby into the exam room without losing it. We were a mess.

In the midst of all this, I saw a woman that I had worked with when I taught second grade. She is really the sweetest woman, so of course she came over and said how good I looked, how cute E was, etc. As we said goodbye, she concluded with, "(happy sigh)- oh you must just be in heaven!"

A sleepy Mr. E at 2 weeks old
Huh? Heaven? Was that where I'm supposed to be? While I quickly faked an appropriately motherly response, I couldn't help but think that if I was supposed to be in heaven then I must be doing something very wrong. There were some heavenly moments for sure (during most of which E was sleeping, thank you very much). But the majority of my days were filled with screaming, poop and breastfeeding horrors instead of ethereal moments of peace and joy.  Doubt creeped in- were all the other new moms hanging out together in baby heaven? How come nobody invited me?

My friend's well-intentioned comment definitely stuck with me. First, I wondered if E was being less than cherubic because I was making too many mistakes on the job. Then I started wondering if the problem wasn't in my job performance, but in my mama composition. This was much scarier. I worried that I could be missing some crucial ingredient moms had that allowed them to see screaming babies and sleepless nights as heavenly experiences.

As the days went by and E and I learned more about each other, I began to understand the real meaning of my friend's words. My friend is a mom herself, so I'm pretty sure she was not under the delusion that E and I were sitting at home having a nonstop love fest of lullabies, cuddles and serenity. She knew what I was going through was very challenging, but at the time my friend had something that I didn't- perspective. Her girls are older now, so she had already seen firsthand that the doubt, pain and emotions of the early days were completely worth it.

So what has changed that has helped me understand what she meant? Well, E is cuter now and cries exponentially less, which makes the peace and happiness part easier, but I don't think that's it. The big change has come as E's unique, crazy personality has really started to shine through in the past few months. I can kind of see the bigger picture of where he's headed, and this makes it easier for me to put the inevitable low points in perspective. I feel excited when E and I use what we've learned about each other to achieve success where we've previously failed (completing a diaper change without pooping on the wall? Go us!). As I watch him skillfully play his tambourine in music class (or drool on it- same thing), I feel really happy and content (even if he later screams when we have to sing "bye bye" to said tambourine).

I'm also starting to trust myself more. I think I have finally accepted that I can be a good, loving mom while simultaneously counting down the minutes to naptime when E is driving me nuts or thinking, "If I have to read Goodnight Moon one more time, I'm going to impale myself on Sophie the Giraffe." I'm trying not to punish myself for having these thoughts because I'm starting to see that being real about my feelings and actually dealing with them is a really important part of my parenting process. And someday E will need to learn the same lesson, so I like to think I'm just doing my homework here.


Last week, I had to take E to the doctor (he has his first official cold- poor E!). Guess who I saw when we were leaving? The same friend who told me I "must be in heaven" 8 months ago when I felt like I was about to fall apart. Interestingly, she made this comment again and this time I responded, "Yeah, I am." I didn't have to fake the response or even think about it, really. The fun and crazy thought that makes this hard work all worth it is that one day E will be all grown up and (sniff) not even need me all because of what I'm doing right now.


So, must I be in heaven? Yup, I guess I must :).

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The early bird catches the worm (and makes grandma fly home from Mexico!)

Some women cry after having their babies. Others say something profound, like, "Now I know what real love feels like," or, "I feel complete." Yes, friends, I have watched way too many episodes of TLC's A Baby Story. But me? What did I say after meeting my son? Well, after I got to hold him and all the baby/ mama doctors were done doing their thing, my profound words of wisdom were, "Wow. That was so weird." 


And you know what? It was so weird. The whole thing. Let's rewind to September 17, shall we? For about a week beforehand, I had been feeling kind of odd. I kept telling B (or "dada" as he is affectionately now known) that I thought E was slowly chipping away in there, Shawshank Redemption style. I had said this to my midwives, too, but they kept assuring me that there was "no way" that I would go early because I was a first time mom. So, I assured my mom (who was leaving for a weeklong trip to Mexico on September 17) that everything was fine and that she should go and drink some margaritas for me. 


As my mom took off that day, B and I got ready for his family to come over for a little pre-baby party. I kind of put the whole labor thing out of my mind. B's family even asked me when I thought I'd have the baby, and I think I said October 10 (my due date was October 8). Looking back, perhaps I should've seen my need to make all the party food from scratch as a sign of nesting?
B & I hanging out with family & our pups never knowing Mr. E was busy plotting his escape.
Everyone went home, and B and I cleaned up and then took our weekly pictures: 


Then we went to bed. Around 2:45am I woke up thought, "Hmm, that's weird." Had my water broken? No, it couldn't be. Hadn't everyone just told me there was no way this could happen? It took me a good hour to decide to call the dr's office (B and Sadie dog slept through all of this, btw). I found out that Carolyn, my favorite midwife, was on call (yay!). She said to meet her at the hospital around 7:30 the next morning so we could check everything out. I started think I might be having contractions the next morning, but I wasn't quite sure so I took my sweet time getting to the hospital. When B and I rolled in eating bagels around 8:30, I still wasn't sure this was the real deal. Carolyn quickly told me that yes, my water had broken and no, I wasn't going anywhere because I was also 4cm dilated already! 


My reply? "Oh no, my mom is going to kill me!" I called B's mom and told her we were in the hospital ("Really? Why?" she asked. See? No one was expecting this.). I talked her into calling my mom in Mexico, who reportedly freaked out but within reason (go mom!). 


Meanwhile, labor was starting to get WAY less fun. I had decided to go as long as I could without pain meds. To be clear, I wasn't trying to be a hero here. I just really like my spinal column the way it is and would prefer to not have it punctured, thank you very much.

For those of you who have never had contractions before, they are like nothing else. Don't bother trying to figure out what they're going to be like beforehand because you can't. They very intensely and completely take over your body and then all of a sudden they're gone and you basically feel fine. Weird, right?

After awhile of this up and down, I felt like I wasn't sure if I'd make it or not. Then they checked me and said I only had 2 cm to go, so I decided to tough it out. By about one hour into the whole 2+ hour pushing process, I definitely regretted this. Right before E was born I was thinking, "Wow, I hope he doesn't mind being an only child because there is NO WAY I'm doing this again!"

But then, out he came. I saw his scrunchy face, his little conehead and his cleft chin and it was all worth it. Literally 5 minutes later I was like, "Aw, that wasn't so bad. I guess I could do it again..." :) E was born on September 18, 2011 at 3:55pm. He was a 5lbs 15 oz, 19 inch long miracle baby. We were so happy he decided to come out 3 weeks early and get this party started!

I love this picture because you can see his little hand on the side of the scale. Always exploring!






Thursday, May 24, 2012

The mama I never thought I'd be- A reflection on crappy doctors and self-doubt

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I went through a phase where I was obsessed with babies, tried to wrangle my friends into starting a real life version of The Babysitters' Club, and shamelessly asked to play with/ hold/ temporarily steal any baby in sight so I could hone my mommy skills. Then I got a little older and my inquisitiveness and confidence in asking for what I wanted started to be replaced by insecurity and an overwhelming need to just fly under the radar. I developed a weird phobia of holding babies lest they cry in my arms and (gasp!) draw attention to me. I didn't want people staring at me and saying, "Gee, what did you do to that baby?" or thinking that the baby didn't like me.

Like all weird phobias, this one evolved as I got older. Not only did I avoid holding babies, I avoided admitting that I wanted to have babies of my own. I guess deep down I was always afraid that I wouldn't be able to a) have a baby and b) be good at raising it. Being a bit of a checklist-obsessed person, I didn't want to publicly put something that huge, that amazing and (most importantly) that uncontrollable on my lifetime checklist just in case I wasn't able to promptly check it off.

Slowly I began to think more and more about becoming a mom. Meeting and marrying an amazing person definitely helped in this department. Even though I still didn't totally believe in myself, I believed in him and I knew he would fill in any of the parenting blanks I might leave. Plus, he's super cool, super cute and also very laid back, so why wouldn't I want to create a little creature that was half him :) ?

Decision made, we added "Build a family" to our private checklist. Since all my life I've had teachers, parents and random old people in the grocery store tell me how easy it would be to get pregnant if I let my guard down for one second, I really didn't think it would be that hard. So we waited.... and waited... and waited. And my self-doubt grew and grew and grew. I'm a definite "signs" person, so I took all this failure as a sign that maybe I wouldn't really be good enough to be a mama. Maybe the universe was saving my poor little future baby from me messing him/ her/ it up. I wanted to pat myself on the back for not publicly admitting we wanted to have a baby because if we couldn't then I could pretend that I hadn't wanted a baby in the first place. The fact that no one knew we were failing was supposed to make it easier... right?

Well, wrong. It didn't make it any easier because I still knew what I wanted. As much as I tried to deny it and pretend like maybe my little zygote would be better off without me, I still wanted it. Really badly. So, I went to the doctor and tried to get some guidance on what to do. His only answer (and one that he repeated many, many times) was that I should go on medication. Let us just note that I don't even take Tylenol if I can avoid it because I consider it cheating. When I said I wanted to try other things first he said, "Well, I guess you don't really want to get pregnant then." Um, excuse me?!? Not cool, doctor man, not cool. Don't mess with a pre-mama and her pre-babies.

This stupid remark did two things. 1) It made me want to punch the good doctor in the nose. 2) It made me realize that I wasn't afraid to admit that yes, I did want to be a mom, thank you very much and  NOTHING was going to stop me. So there. After this I "went public" with our desire to start a family. And guess what? Apparently my eggs were listening to that doctor and, being stubborn and determined like their mama, they decided they would show him. Mr. E was made about a week later.

If you look closely, I think you can see the "stubborn" section of his brain lighting up.

One of the coolest parts about becoming a mama is how it has brought back some of the pieces of my child-self that I have missed. When it comes to my baby, I'm not afraid of making waves or getting noticed. I don't want to fly under the radar. And to be a good mama I've realized that I have to be honest with myself, figure out what I really want and then go for it. I'm allowed to put things on my checklist, cross them off or even just leave them on there for awhile without accomplishing them (pure insanity, list lovers, I know). And that doesn't make me a failure- it makes me a more open, honest, realistic person. It makes me a better mom, and that, my friends, is the number one thing on my checklist right now. I don't know if being a good mom is something you can ever really "check off", but I am certainly enjoying working on it.
~ love my boys ~

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Breastfeeding problems & solutions- crazy baby :)


Oh, E. I love you, but you are a crazy, crazy little man. As I've said before, we had EVERY problem in the breastfeeding book. To be fair, the problems were pretty evenly split between me and E, so we both had to learn to deal with each other's issues. Foreshadowing for the rest of our lives together, perhaps :)? Here are some of the challenges my crazy, lovable baby presented me with:

- Sleepy baby: Mr. E was quite the sleepy little fellow when he was first born. A combo of coming 3 weeks early and being jaundiced really knocked him out. We did EVERYTHING to keep him awake, including (but not limited to): feeding him in a diaper only; applying a cold, wet washcloth to his body; tickling his feet; stroking his cheek, head, belly, neck, etc; changing his diaper in the middle of the feed. Eventually, the sleepy little monster woke up, and then we had…


- Super hungry baby: As in ravenous, I will scream bloody murder if you remove the boob from my mouth hungry. He continued to be like that until we introduced solids at 6 months, so here are the solutions I dreamed up. Number one, I tried to realize that if he was growing appropriately and wasn't losing weight or turning into the State Puff Marshmallow Baby, there was really no need to try to follow any food consumption schedule but his own. Number two, if I’d given him adequate time on both sides (generally a combined max time of about 30 minutes once he had gotten the hang of it), I tried to take a little break after feeding even if he was “complaining” about it. Sometimes babies just want to suck for comfort even if they’re already full, which is fine. Some people choose to let them keep sucking and others try the pacifier. Either works. Don’t worry too much about overfeeding your breastfed baby because it’s not really possible. Babies remedy that problem by puking all over you, your carpet and your couch when overfilled.

- Psycho clawing raptor baby: Ah, this was my favorite. Since E was a “super hungry baby” but also had a bad latch, he’d work himself into a craze when the milk didn’t come fast enough. He’d literally writhe around and scratch my chest with his little, supersharp raptor claws. The only thing that helped was repeating, “I will be patient. My baby is not trying to rip me to shreds,” to myself over and over again AND swaddling him to contain his arms and calm him down a bit. I’ve heard other people sometimes pump a little to get everything flowing faster, or you could try massaging to increase the flow.

- Choking milk-covered baby: Once E moved out of his psycho clawing raptor baby stage, he decided my flow was too strong and became a choking milk-covered baby. This really isn’t a big deal, although it can make you feel kind of bad for drowning your baby in breastmilk. If the flow is too fast or if your letdown is too strong, just take the baby off for a second, and as you’re patting his back and he’s spitting milk all over you, press a cloth to the breast to slow the flow. It slows significantly after a minute or so, and your baby will get better at handling it as he gets older and better at eating. 

Oh, E, I love you. What challenges will you dream up for me next?

Breastfeeding Problems & Solutions- Milk Production

Okay, so you've figured out the latching issue. You're getting used to feeding your little one all the time. You have a profound new respect for mama cows. There can't be any more... right?

Well, just a little. Here are just a few more issues you can have as you, your body and your baby learn how to rock this whole breastfeeding thing.

- Overproduction
This happens a lot, especially in the beginning. This can lead to engorgement (aka rock hard porn star boobs without the sex appeal). I dealt with this in two ways. First, I used the diaper ice packs I talked about making in my breastfeeding prep post. Second, I would pump just a little bit (basically, just enough to allay my fear that they might actually explode). If you pump just a little, your body will figure out that it’s making too much for that time of day and tone it down a bit. Your body is pretty smart, so it only takes a few days for it to get it right.  If you pump it all, which can be very tempting, your body will convince itself that you have birthed a litter of six that it has to feed and make even more milk. See the problem?

- Underproduction
This also happens a lot, especially in the beginning and during growth spurts when the baby eats more. Your baby will generally take care of this naturally by sucking more to stimulate increased milk production. However, if you have a sleepy baby (like I did), or a baby with a latching problem (like I did), you’ll have to rely on your old friend the breast pump to help you out.
Here's the basic idea: empty breasts produce milk much faster than full or semi-full breasts do. To increase milk production, you need to empty your breasts as completely as possible and then keep the sucking action going to tell your body to make even more. When you're pumping, you can do this by letting the pump run a few minutes after your milk stops flowing. If your baby is taking care of it, you'll notice that he wants to eat more often or is sucking for longer. Again, your body is smart, so usually it will catch up to your baby's need after a day or two. Avoid the temptation to supplement with formula or  stored breastmilk. If you do, your body might not get the message that your baby needs more milk, so it won't increase its production and you'll be stuck supplementing.

- Hindmilk/foremilk imbalance
Foremilk is the milk that comes out first. It’s thinner, more liquidy and has less fat, so it’s great for satisfying your baby’s thirst. Hindmilk comes out later in the feed. It is thicker and has more fat so it’s good for satisfying your baby’s hunger, keeping him full longer and helping him gain weight. Sometimes, there is an imbalance and your baby gets more foremilk than hindmilk. Some people say this can lead to fussiness and more gas because there’s more lactose in foremilk than hindmilk. It can also lead to some lovely green poop. Also, if your baby fills up on foremilk, he might not get enough of the fatty hindmilk, causing him to be hungry more often and possibly not gain enough weight. As far as I can tell, there's no way to alter the foremilk to hindmilk ratio. However, you can maximize the amount of hindmilk your baby receives by making sure to give enough time on each breast. All the boob experts that I have been to have said to “let the baby finish the first side first”, or treat the first side as the main course and only offer the second one kind of as dessert. Do this instead of watching the clock and trying to get equal time on each side and you should be good.  
 

Breastfeeding Problems & Solutions- Latching


Improper latch is probably one of the most common problems that we mamas have to learn to deal with, especially in the beginning. In my opinion, it's also probably one of the biggest reasons people jump off the breastfeeding bandwagon (most likely clutching their boobs and screaming, I might add). If your baby isn't connected correctly, you will most likely be in pain and your baby might not be nursing efficiently or effectively.

If your baby is latched correctly, your nipple should come out looking pretty much the same way it went in. If it comes out and looks compressed or mangled in some way, chances are your baby has a latch issue. 

Here are some common latching issues:
- Shallow latch: No fun, no fun at all. Basically, if you don’t get a deep enough latch, your nipple gets smashed against your baby’s hard pallet or gum ridge. This causes PAIN and damage. Since bleeding nipples are never fun, make sure to get the little one to open really wide and literally shove the boob in there. Sounds weird, but you have to be speedy with these little guys. 
- The gummy latch: This is what happens when your little one decides not to flip his lips out like a fish and chooses instead to roll them under and try to gum you to death (like E did). If this happens, just stick your finger in there and flip the lips open. 

Some suggestions for fixing latch problems:
- Speaking of sticking your fingers in there… Don’t be afraid to latch and relatch until you get it right. It’s a learning process for everyone, and it helps no one to just grit your teeth and sit there through a bad latch. You can unlatch your baby by sticking your pinky in toward the corner of the baby’s mouth and gently pulling back and up to break the suction. I always pushed in on me first and then pulled back and up to avoid scratching him with my nail. If you don’t break the latch before trying to yank the baby off, the baby will likely not let go, leading to a disturbing, painful Gumby situation that you and your nipple won’t soon forget.
- Sometimes, latch problems can be due to issues with tight frenulums (frenula? frenulae? I don't know- whatever the plural of frenulum is). You have a frenulum at the bottom of your mouth that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth and one at the top that connects your top lip to your gum line. If either is tight or too short, it makes it very difficult for the baby to open wide enough to latch properly. When a baby has a short bottom frenulum, she is said to be tongue-tied. This can usually be fixed with a quick, relatively painless surgery. I had it done at age 5, so I actually remember the experience and promise you it will be harder on the mama than the baby. Kellymom.com has lots of information on tongue-ties and breastfeeding. Check it out!

I hope I haven't freaked you out too much with all this information. Hopefully, you won't experience these issues, or if you do you will be able to correct them quickly. If breastfeeding is something you believe is essential to your parenting, there is almost no issue that can't be corrected or circumvented. So hang in there, stock up on gel pads and cream and have faith. You can do it!


Getting started - breastfeeding basics


Welcome to the wonderful world of breastfeeding! I admit there is a bit of sarcasm dripping off those typed words - using your body to feed another human is really, REALLY hard work and it's not always wonderful. There won't always be sunshine and butterflies surrounding you as you lovingly gaze down at your precious, rosy-cheeked infant (who is latched perfectly and feeding calmly, of course!). Your baby will never say thank you for enduring all the sacrifices and struggles that can come along with breastfeeding. But guess what? For so many people (including myself) it is completely and totally worth it. 

Here are some basic ideas to keep in mind during those first crazy days/weeks/months:

- Hello, mommy milk machine!
Welcome to your new job: mommy milk machine! You will feed your baby allllll the time. Babies have to eat every two hours, and sadly for us this means two hours from the beginning of the feed. Add this to the fact that your little critter might take 45 minutes to eat, and you can see that feeding will be your primary job for at least a month or two. Learn to ignore things like clutter and laundry, or pay or bribe someone else to take care of it for you. This was really hard for me, but you just have to accept it as yet another change that has come your way.

- Positioning
Your baby’s ear, shoulder & hip should be aligned and you should be lined up with your baby belly to belly. Pick somewhere comfortable to sit that has a lot of back support (eg: a rocking chair, against the bed headboard). To minimize neck and back pain, bring the baby to you instead of leaning over to the baby. Also, support your arms in some way (pillows, Boppy, chair with arms). My wrists were KILLING me after only a few days of breastfeeding because I tried to support the weight of his little noggin in my hands only.

- Latch
There are lots of good resources on the web to show you how to latch your baby properly. The keys to a good latch are making sure the baby’s mouth is open wide, your breast is inserted far into his mouth, his lips are flipped up and his chin and nose are touching the breast. Someone told me it should look like a fish kissing a wall. Hey, whatever image floats your boat. 
Here's a good video from ameda.com showing a proper latch. Just beware that if you're having trouble, the babies shown would definitely earn those A+ Breastfeeder stickers I talked about earlier. Resist the urge to throw something and try to learn from them instead :). 

Kellymom.com is one of my favorite breastfeeding websites because it presents so much information without being pushy or preachy. Check out What is Normal? to see some good articles on common concerns during breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding prep - oh, the stuff you will need!


As you read these breastfeeding posts, you will probably think to yourself, “Why is this girl telling me this? Doesn’t she have any boundaries?” The answer, my friends, is no. I no longer have boundaries. And guess what?  If you're planning on breastfeeding or even just becoming a mom in general, pretty soon, neither will you.

Seriously, though, I wanted to put this together because I had so many questions about breastfeeding and really had few people to ask. I ended up spending hours researching on the internet and I wanted to save you from a similar fate. There is no way I could write down everything that I’ve learned, so if you have any questions along the way, just email me (teachlearnmama@gmail.com). E and I will gladly help you through whatever may come your way. 

So, let's get started. When I first contemplated breastfeeding I remember thinking, "Yay! I have boobs, my baby will have a mouth, so we're all set!" Being the cheapest person alive, the prospect of not having to buy anything to feed Mr. E made me happy to the point of giddiness. Well, then reality hit and I realized that I did actually need some "stuff" to make this happen. 

Here are a few things that I bought or made to help us through the process. If you think I missed anything, let me know!

- Nursing bras: no underwire; my favorite “at home” bras are Lamaze sleep bras (I got them on amazon.com)
- Nursing tank tops (or any tank top w/ built in bra)- great for bed
- Lansinoh cream
- Gel pads (TIP: keep these away from your pets. Our dog ate one, which led to us having to call Poison Control. Apparently as long as they pierce the outer membrane and rip it into tiny enough pieces they'll be fine, but don't chance it!)
- Nursing pads
- Boppy (although I didn’t use it much & it’s good to get used to feeding without it unless you intend to drag it with you everywhere you go!)
- Nursing cover up (long/wide scarves also work great for this)
- Bibs (for some reason it didn’t really occur to me that he would need one while breastfeeding, but in the beginning it can get pretty messy, which can lead to your little one making cheese in those cute, chubby little folds of his neck)
- Diaper ice packs: Soak a (clean!) newborn diaper in water. Pop it in the freezer and voila! You have reusable ice packs that are just the right size to stick into those super attractive nursing bras you’ll soon be wearing.

If you're planning on pumping, you will also need:
- Breast pump, containers, etc (usually sold as a set)
- Disposable bags for freezing/ storing milk
- Pumping bra for hands-free pumping (or make your own out of an old sports bra by cutting holes for the pump parts to fit through- super sexy)
- Bottles (more on this in another post)

Whew, that sounds like a lot. Thankfully for us cheap mamas, most of this stuff is pretty inexpensive. You can even rent pumps if you don't feel like plunking down hundreds of dollars for one. Let the feeding begin!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Intro to breastfeeding- my first mama lesson

One of the first things I had to learn as a new mama was how to breastfeed my baby. Apparently, it was my job to transform this teeny, tiny, wiggly, kind of scary-looking little creature into a strong, healthy boy. And all I was allowed to use were my boobs. Hmmm...

Before I actually had E, I always thought I'd be totally Earth-mama natural about birth and breastfeeding. I went to a La Leche League meeting (that will be a story for another day) and watched videos online of babies literally crawling up to breastfeed after birth. I guess I kind of assumed that if I believed it could happen and really, really wanted it to, I would produce a child who would earn the admiration of all the nurses. They'd applaud his ability and promptly place a sticker saying, "A+ breastfeeder" on his chart (ah, the teacher in me comes out again!).

Well, things didn't quite work out that way. In spite of my wholehearted belief in the wonders of breastfeeding, I produced a jaundiced, skinny little man with a bad latch. If they did have breastfeeding stickers, his would've said, "Keep trying!". Ugh. We encountered just about every breastfeeding problem in the book. Needless to say, I had a LOT of learning to do when it came to breastfeeding.

Bad for me, good for you! Check back soon for snapshots of (many!) lessons learned on latching, diet during breastfeeding, solving common problems, pumping, storing milk, etc. Any comments, suggestions, or additional lessons learned are greatly appreciated!

E at the beginning of his breastfeeding career....


... and 6 months later. Safe to say he got the hang of it, huh?


Hi! I'm Kristyn. Yeah, I'm in mothering...

When I was in graduate school, simultaneously blundering my way through my first year of teaching (in a high-needs, inner city school in the Bronx, no less), my colleagues and fellow students were sitting around trying to pin down why exactly it was so hard, so all-consuming to be a teacher. Why couldn't we just put in our time, leave at 3:30 and never look back?

"It's because it's not like any other profession," my friend said. "Other people say, 'I'm in banking.' But what teacher do you know who says, 'I'm in teaching'?  No one. It's too big for that. It's like being a mom. No one says, 'I do mothering,' or, 'Yeah, I'm in mothering.' We say, 'I'm a mom. I'm a teacher,' because being a mom or a teacher is so much bigger than just doing a job."

When I became a mom to an amazing little boy this September (of course my mama job started in September, just like my teacher job would have!), I honestly was kind of lost for awhile. Being a mom was more than I thought it would be in every way possible. I was more tired, more emotional, more thankful, more confused (did I really volunteer to get 1 hour of sleep and be a slave to a 6lb creature?!?) and more completely in love than I could have ever imagined. The job of being a mama consumed me completely, much in the way that becoming a teacher had in the beginning. Like being a teacher, being a mom is too important to just be a job that you do- it's something you become.

As I tried to get a handle on everything, I realized I was looking to my teacher self for help. I found the only way I could keep some semblance of sanity while E was crying whenever my super jiggling/rocking/bouncing slowed slightly was to think of he and I as teachers and learners. Even though I often wanted to cry and sometimes started counting the hours until "dada" came home a whopping 5 minutes after he left, it made me feel better to think that not a day went by that E didn't teach me something and vice versa. I was teaching him how to do things like sleep without bonking himself in the face and he was teaching me how to ask for help (a big one for me!) and do everything one-handed.  Slowly, sometimes painfully, we were becoming better people because we were both constantly teaching and learning.

I am a little bit of a worrier (okay, a lot a bit), and having the responsibility of ultimately producing an adult who was intelligent, caring and not a serial killer was kind of too much for me ("All serial killers have moms," I soberly informed my friend as I peered skeptically at 2-week-old E sleeping in his stroller). Thinking of E and I as teachers and learners gave me a game plan for how to approach this task. I started to look for developmental milestones and think up baby lesson plans to support his learning. I bought books, spent hours on the internet and, most importantly, tried to pull as much info out of my mom friends as possible. As I infused my teacher-self into my mama-self, I started finding more fun and intellectual stimulation in my mama duties (A diaper change? What an exceptional opportunity for midline-crossing activities!).

Everyone has their own approach to "mamaing". I am the best mama I can be when I approach it like a teacher. I decided to start this blog because I wanted to give and draw support from all sorts of other mamas. I want to teach what I've learned and learn what others can teach me. I hope we can all help each other be better teachers, learners and mamas.

So, here we go - teach, learn and mama on :).