How to diaper and bathe your crocodile baby

I love my baby. I truly, truly do. And I want to support him no matter what path in life he chooses to take. Unfortunately, he has currently decided that he wants to take the path of a crocodile (or maybe an alligator? I always forget which is which). Yes, my sweet angel baby has decided that any time I want to change or bathe him, he must grab on to the nearest object and put it into a death roll, crocodile/ alligator style. Gone are the days when we used to play games during our diaper changes. Gone are the nights of E staring peacefully up at me as he lounged in our little plastic tub. Those days and nights have been replaced by E's new thrash and roll routine.

This really irked me for quite some time. Again, I go back to the fact that I am a teacher that has rules and demands respect. I mean, hasn't a former student told this kid not to mess with me yet??? (Note to self- get our neighbor/ former student to talk to E as soon as he can comprehend English.) After too many crazy diaper changes and near death experiences in the bathtub, I decided I needed put the ingraining of the rules aside for now and get creative to solve this problem. I suspect that there are other little crocodile babies out there, so I thought I'd share what has worked for us. As always, if you have any tips or tricks that have worked for you, please let me know!

Crocodile diaper time
Diaper time is serious time in this house. Let's face it- the stakes are pretty high here. If you change your croco-baby on a changing table (the idea of which we have long since abandoned), you run the risk of your little critter hurling himself off the table. Additionally, if your baby decides to go into a full-on croc spin, there is huge potential for bodily fluids making getting all over your baby, your carpet,  and you, which is no fun for anyone.

So, what has worked for us? First, I dug out the good old Boppy. I never really used this thing for its intended purpose, but it has come in handy in many unexpected ways, so I don't feel bad about requesting it as a present. I place it so that it makes an upside-down U shape and recline Sir E so his head rests on the curved part. The sides act to gently sandwich his little body in there, making it a little harder for him to roll. At the very least, the shape slows him down a little and I'll take any help I can get! I also keep a few toys in our diaper bin for him to play with only during diaper changes. He loves making calls on his pretend cell phone as I clean up his cute little bum (probably to Grandma to complain about me).

"Hello, Grandma? Yeah, it's me, E. This lady doesn't know WHAT she's doing!"

Managing the baby croc in its natural habitat- the tub
Wow, as soon as we set E free in the big tub we ran into a mess of problems. He was concurrently learning to crawl and stand, and apparently the slippery, hard tub seemed like the perfect place to do it! What worked for us here was a LOT of persistence on my part. I was really firm about telling him not to stand in the tub and taking him out if he got too crazy. As a result, bathtime only lasted a few minutes for awhile, but it had to happen. What helped break the cycle of crawl-discipline-scream-tub ejection was putting E in the tub before it was filled so he could watch the water come out of the faucet. Our new tub also has a shiny part by the faucet, which plays right into his obsession with the baby in the mirror. "Watering" E with our hair rinsing bucket and surrounding him with lots of toys helped too. Oh, and having his toothbrush ready to bribe him with to avoid hysterics when bathtime is over. Who thought cleaning your baby could be so darn complicated? And why don't babies ever want to be clean, anyway? Ah, the mysteries of life.

So, that's what I've learned! Hopefully this helps someone. Later, gators :)!

The Diarrhea Diaries

I struggled to come up with a name for this post, but I think I did really well, no? A nice mix of accurate and scientific with a dash of class. Being an elementary school teacher, I have retained a healthy respect for bathroom humor and as a result, I generally can't say diarrhea without giggling. When I had to tell some family members that E was under the weather, it went something like, "Um, well, he has, you know... tummy issues. You know what I mean?"Anyway, I decided to mom up here and just use the word. Diarrhea has taken over our lives for the last few days, and I have had to do a lot of googling to figure out what to do to help the poor little man. I've said it before and I'll say it again- I need a manual for this kid! Below are some tips on what I've found to help.

Diet: 
Generally, we've been following the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apples and toast). Additionally, we have upped his intake of starchy foods like white potatoes, cooked carrots, and the almighty Cheerio (this has made E very, very happy). The doctor also recommended we feed E small, frequent meals so we don't overload his poor struggling little digestive system. I've been breastfeeding him a lot more frequently too. (Sidenote: Just before this all started, I was planning on starting E on one formula feed a day. Guess he was listening and didn't like the idea!) We have also been giving him Pedialyte and lots of water to help keep him hydrated.

Banana App-poo Cookie Recipe
Here is a recipe for "banana app-poo cookies", as I'm calling them (please see above confession about my love of bathroom humor). I was getting really sick of just feeding E straight applesauce and banana slices, and I wanted a different way to feed him the same ingredients. It's basically a healthy banana oatmeal cookie recipe with all the oil, sugar, etc. taken out. I am not a baker by any means, and I halved the ingredients from another basic recipe, so it calls for measurements that are a little weird.

1 1/2 ripe bananas
1 cup of quick cook oats
1/6 cup of applesauce
3 shredded cooked carrots
Pinch of cinnamon (can be omitted)

Mash the bananas with a fork. Add the applesauce, oats and cinnamon. Mix well and let sit for a few minutes. Place tablespoonfuls of the mixture onto an ungreased baking sheet. Bake until the edges are starting to brown (about 10-15 minutes). Makes 16 cookies.

cookies before baking

E approves!

Mmmm. Banana App-Poo cookies are yummy!

Tips:
E was not too thrilled when I replaced his beloved pure water with Pedialyte. He drank some of it (mostly because he likes the opportunity to spill things on himself, the dog, etc) but not much. I froze the Pedialyte in an ice cube tray. Later I popped them out and put them in his mesh feeder. Voila! Tasty Pedialyte ice pops! He loved chomping away on them and I loved the fact that I could preserve the Pedialyte for a little longer. Apparently you're supposed to use all of the super-expensive bottle within 48 hours, and that does not sit well with this cheap mama.

Also, see that cute one piece outfit E is wearing? I'd recommend stocking up on items like that. It's comfy and doesn't have a waistband to squish E's poor little belly. Also, the leg snaps make diaper changes easier (and with the amount of diaper changing you will be doing, you will want it to be as easy as possible!).

Speaking of diaper changes, make sure to apply diaper rash cream or some kind of skin protectant after each change. Your baby's bum will also appreciate it if you use unscented wipes or plain old moist cloths instead of the pretty scented kind.


Previously unknown (to me) information:
The nurse on our doctor's hotline informed me that the acute stage of diarrhea can last from 1-3 days, but the aftermath diarrhea, as we shall call it, can last a few more WEEKS! Craziness.

And that's all, my friends! Any additional tips or recommendations are very, very welcome. 

I'm hoping things return to normal around here real soon!

Where's my owner's manual???

In the process of packing for our big move at the end of the month, I find it interesting how many owner's manuals I have unearthed. It seems like everything we have bought, no matter how seemingly simple to operate, has come with an owner's manual. Illustrations abound on how to attach your stroller wheels or insert the batteries to one of the many toys laying around our house. Can't figure it out, even when instructed in 5 languages? No problem- just call the 24 hour hotline.

Just one thing is missing- the owner's manual for my child. I mean, seriously, where is it? How is it that the most difficult task in the world- "operating" a child- doesn't come with some sort of manual? It's been a rough 3 weeks around here. E got his first cold, which threw us all for a loop. He also appears to be going through some sort of oh-my-gosh-my-mom-can-leave-me crisis that he has chosen to handle by using his tiny fingers to get my clothing/hair/nose in a death grip and screaming any time I look like I'm about to move away from him. According to The Wonder Weeks, my go-to "Why is my child turning into a crazy gremlin?" resource, E is entering "The World of Categories". The book gives me a lovely explanation of why this is happening, but what am I supposed to do about it? Where is my manual???

As a teacher, I prided myself on being kind and fun but strict. My classroom management style was one of defined boundaries and logical consequences. I tried to be very consistent and predictable so my kids knew what they could expect if their behavior didn't meet our set classroom expectations. I felt confident in my ability to help my students behave respectfully, reasonably and responsibly (shout out to my Stony Brook friends- yay for being star cubed!). It took me awhile to figure this out and every situation and student needed to be addressed somewhat differently, but there were books on classroom management to help me along the way.

I am having huge difficulties translating this system into a code of conduct for parenting a baby. How do you set boundaries for an 8 month old that doesn't understand English and doesn't have a good enough grasp on cause and effect to really get the meaning of consequences? When I try to set boundaries (no, you may not roll around like a crocodile while I'm trying to scrape poop off your body), E just laughs (or more likely screams) in my face. If he eventually understands that there are boundaries and that mommy will not back down on some things, I can keep doing this. As much as it's driving me insane at the moment, I will keep patiently but firmly doing my, "E, no no" speech as he flops around and screams like a banshee after I thwart his attempts to jump in the slippery bathtub. But how do I know I'm doing this the right way? Again, where is my manual for this parenting thing???

Eating the foam floor tiles. This boy is an animal.

This post is not going to wrap up neatly because I haven't made it through this phase alive yet. While I'm here, stuck in the trenches waiting for some super mom to write a parenting manual with step by step directions on how to raise a kind, well-adjusted, respectful child (complete with a 24-hour advice hotline), I'm calling out to the mamas out there. Advice, offers of babysitting, bottles of wine... all are appreciated (and really, really needed). Let's do this. Ready? Go!

Good thing you're cute, Mr. E!

Breastfeeding problems & solutions- crazy baby :)

Oh, E. I love you, but you are a crazy, crazy little man. As I've said before, we had EVERY problem in the breastfeeding book. To be fair, the problems were pretty evenly split between me and E, so we both had to learn to deal with each other's issues. Foreshadowing for the rest of our lives together, perhaps :)? Here are some of the challenges my crazy, lovable baby presented me with:

- Sleepy baby: Mr. E was quite the sleepy little fellow when he was first born. A combo of coming 3 weeks early and being jaundiced really knocked him out. We did EVERYTHING to keep him awake, including (but not limited to): feeding him in a diaper only; applying a cold, wet washcloth to his body; tickling his feet; stroking his cheek, head, belly, neck, etc; changing his diaper in the middle of the feed. Eventually, the sleepy little monster woke up, and then we had…

- Super hungry baby: As in ravenous, I will scream bloody murder if you remove the boob from my mouth hungry. He continued to be like that until we introduced solids at 6 months, so here are the solutions I dreamed up. Number one, I tried to realize that if he was growing appropriately and wasn't losing weight or turning into the State Puff Marshmallow Baby, there was really no need to try to follow any food consumption schedule but his own. Number two, if I’d given him adequate time on both sides (generally a combined max time of about 30 minutes once he had gotten the hang of it), I tried to take a little break after feeding even if he was “complaining” about it. Sometimes babies just want to suck for comfort even if they’re already full, which is fine. Some people choose to let them keep sucking and others try the pacifier. Either works. Don’t worry too much about overfeeding your breastfed baby because it’s not really possible. Babies remedy that problem by puking all over you, your carpet and your couch when overfilled.

- Psycho clawing raptor baby: Ah, this was my favorite. Since E was a “super hungry baby” but also had a bad latch, he’d work himself into a craze when the milk didn’t come fast enough. He’d literally writhe around and scratch my chest with his little, supersharp raptor claws. The only thing that helped was repeating, “I will be patient. My baby is not trying to rip me to shreds,” to myself over and over again AND swaddling him to contain his arms and calm him down a bit. I’ve heard other people sometimes pump a little to get everything flowing faster, or you could try massaging to increase the flow.

- Choking milk-covered baby: Once E moved out of his psycho clawing raptor baby stage, he decided my flow was too strong and became a choking milk-covered baby. This really isn’t a big deal, although it can make you feel kind of bad for drowning your baby in breastmilk. If the flow is too fast or if your letdown is too strong, just take the baby off for a second, and as you’re patting his back and he’s spitting milk all over you, press a cloth to the breast to slow the flow. It slows significantly after a minute or so, and your baby will get better at handling it as he gets older and better at eating. 

Oh, E, I love you. What challenges will you dream up for me next?

Breastfeeding Problems & Solutions- Milk Production

Okay, so you've figured out the latching issue. You're getting used to feeding your little one all the time. You have a profound new respect for mama cows. There can't be any more... right?

Well, just a little. Here are just a few more issues you can have as you, your body and your baby learn how to rock this whole breastfeeding thing.

- Overproduction

This happens a lot, especially in the beginning. This can lead to engorgement (aka rock hard porn star boobs without the sex appeal). I dealt with this in two ways. First, I used the diaper ice packs I talked about making in my breastfeeding prep post. Second, I would pump just a little bit (basically, just enough to allay my fear that they might actually explode). If you pump just a little, your body will figure out that it’s making too much for that time of day and tone it down a bit. Your body is pretty smart, so it only takes a few days for it to get it right.  If you pump it all, which can be very tempting, your body will convince itself that you have birthed a litter of six that it has to feed and make even more milk. See the problem?

- Underproduction

This also happens a lot, especially in the beginning and during growth spurts when the baby eats more. Your baby will generally take care of this naturally by sucking more to stimulate increased milk production. However, if you have a sleepy baby (like I did), or a baby with a latching problem (like I did), you’ll have to rely on your old friend the breast pump to help you out.
Here's the basic idea: empty breasts produce milk much faster than full or semi-full breasts do. To increase milk production, you need to empty your breasts as completely as possible and then keep the sucking action going to tell your body to make even more. When you're pumping, you can do this by letting the pump run a few minutes after your milk stops flowing. If your baby is taking care of it, you'll notice that he wants to eat more often or is sucking for longer. Again, your body is smart, so usually it will catch up to your baby's need after a day or two. Avoid the temptation to supplement with formula or  stored breastmilk. If you do, your body might not get the message that your baby needs more milk, so it won't increase its production and you'll be stuck supplementing.

- Hindmilk/foremilk imbalance

Foremilk is the milk that comes out first. It’s thinner, more liquidy and has less fat, so it’s great for satisfying your baby’s thirst. Hindmilk comes out later in the feed. It is thicker and has more fat so it’s good for satisfying your baby’s hunger, keeping him full longer and helping him gain weight. Sometimes, there is an imbalance and your baby gets more foremilk than hindmilk. Some people say this can lead to fussiness and more gas because there’s more lactose in foremilk than hindmilk. It can also lead to some lovely green poop. Also, if your baby fills up on foremilk, he might not get enough of the fatty hindmilk, causing him to be hungry more often and possibly not gain enough weight. As far as I can tell, there's no way to alter the foremilk to hindmilk ratio. However, you can maximize the amount of hindmilk your baby receives by making sure to give enough time on each breast. All the boob experts that I have been to have said to “let the baby finish the first side first”, or treat the first side as the main course and only offer the second one kind of as dessert. Do this instead of watching the clock and trying to get equal time on each side and you should be good.  

 

Breastfeeding Problems & Solutions- Latching

Improper latch is probably one of the most common problems that we mamas have to learn to deal with, especially in the beginning. In my opinion, it's also probably one of the biggest reasons people jump off the breastfeeding bandwagon (most likely clutching their boobs and screaming, I might add). If your baby isn't connected correctly, you will most likely be in pain and your baby might not be nursing efficiently or effectively.

If your baby is latched correctly, your nipple should come out looking pretty much the same way it went in. If it comes out and looks compressed or mangled in some way, chances are your baby has a latch issue. 

Here are some common latching issues:

- Shallow latch: No fun, no fun at all. Basically, if you don’t get a deep enough latch, your nipple gets smashed against your baby’s hard pallet or gum ridge. This causes PAIN and damage. Since bleeding nipples are never fun, make sure to get the little one to open really wide and literally shove the boob in there. Sounds weird, but you have to be speedy with these little guys. 

- The gummy latch: This is what happens when your little one decides not to flip his lips out like a fish and chooses instead to roll them under and try to gum you to death (like E did). If this happens, just stick your finger in there and flip the lips open. 

Some suggestions for fixing latch problems:

- Speaking of sticking your fingers in there… Don’t be afraid to latch and relatch until you get it right. It’s a learning process for everyone, and it helps no one to just grit your teeth and sit there through a bad latch. You can unlatch your baby by sticking your pinky in toward the corner of the baby’s mouth and gently pulling back and up to break the suction. I always pushed in on me first and then pulled back and up to avoid scratching him with my nail. If you don’t break the latch before trying to yank the baby off, the baby will likely not let go, leading to a disturbing, painful Gumby situation that you and your nipple won’t soon forget.

- Sometimes, latch problems can be due to issues with tight frenulums (frenula? frenulae? I don't know- whatever the plural of frenulum is). You have a frenulum at the bottom of your mouth that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth and one at the top that connects your top lip to your gum line. If either is tight or too short, it makes it very difficult for the baby to open wide enough to latch properly. When a baby has a short bottom frenulum, she is said to be tongue-tied. This can usually be fixed with a quick, relatively painless surgery. I had it done at age 5, so I actually remember the experience and promise you it will be harder on the mama than the baby. Kellymom.com has lots of information on tongue-ties and breastfeeding. Check it out!

I hope I haven't freaked you out too much with all this information. Hopefully, you won't experience these issues, or if you do you will be able to correct them quickly. If breastfeeding is something you believe is essential to your parenting, there is almost no issue that can't be corrected or circumvented. So hang in there, stock up on gel pads and cream and have faith. You can do it!

Getting started - breastfeeding basics

Welcome to the wonderful world of breastfeeding! I admit there is a bit of sarcasm dripping off those typed words - using your body to feed another human is really, REALLY hard work and it's not always wonderful. There won't always be sunshine and butterflies surrounding you as you lovingly gaze down at your precious, rosy-cheeked infant (who is latched perfectly and feeding calmly, of course!). Your baby will never say thank you for enduring all the sacrifices and struggles that can come along with breastfeeding. But guess what? For so many people (including myself) it is completely and totally worth it. 

Here are some basic ideas to keep in mind during those first crazy days/weeks/months:

- Hello, mommy milk machine!

Welcome to your new job: mommy milk machine! You will feed your baby allllll the time. Babies have to eat every two hours, and sadly for us this means two hours from the beginning of the feed. Add this to the fact that your little critter might take 45 minutes to eat, and you can see that feeding will be your primary job for at least a month or two. Learn to ignore things like clutter and laundry, or pay or bribe someone else to take care of it for you. This was really hard for me, but you just have to accept it as yet another change that has come your way.

- Positioning

Your baby’s ear, shoulder & hip should be aligned and you should be lined up with your baby belly to belly. Pick somewhere comfortable to sit that has a lot of back support (eg: a rocking chair, against the bed headboard). To minimize neck and back pain, bring the baby to you instead of leaning over to the baby. Also, support your arms in some way (pillows, Boppy, chair with arms). My wrists were KILLING me after only a few days of breastfeeding because I tried to support the weight of his little noggin in my hands only.

- Latch

There are lots of good resources on the web to show you how to latch your baby properly. The keys to a good latch are making sure the baby’s mouth is open wide, your breast is inserted far into his mouth, his lips are flipped up and his chin and nose are touching the breast. Someone told me it should look like a fish kissing a wall. Hey, whatever image floats your boat. 

Here's a good video from ameda.com showing a proper latch. Just beware that if you're having trouble, the babies shown would definitely earn those A+ Breastfeeder stickers I talked about earlier. Resist the urge to throw something and try to learn from them instead :). 

Kellymom.com is one of my favorite breastfeeding websites because it presents so much information without being pushy or preachy. Check out What is Normal? to see some good articles on common concerns during breastfeeding.